Becoming a dad for the first time is a powerful, transformative experience. It comes with uncertainty, a steep learning curve, and moments that shape a lifetime. In honor of Father’s Day, we gathered voices from parents who have been there, each offering honest, heartfelt and sometimes irreverent advice for first-time fathers navigating the early days of fatherhood.
The moms who shared their advice below are members of the S.C. Parent Advisory Committee (PAC), supported by Children’s Trust of South Carolina. Members of the PAC meet regularly and share their collective wisdom on relevant parenting topics, and we always leave those conversations with a full heart and so much gratitude.
Let Him Learn: Encouragement Without Micromanagement.
Shelina shared the challenges of parenting in a blended household. One of the most meaningful gifts she gave her husband was the space to be a first-time dad, without nitpicking or correcting every slight misstep.
“You have to let them figure things out,” she said. From breast pumps to heating pads, she encouraged him to engage fully, even when it was awkward or new. “They want the experience. Let them make mistakes. Let them find their way.”
Recognize the Emotional Journey of Dads Too.
Ciera reminded us that dads, like moms, experience emotional shifts—something often overlooked in societal expectations. “We talk about postpartum for moms, but dads experience it too. There are signs and symptoms. They need support.”
It’s okay, she emphasized, for dads to lean into vulnerability, to seek help, and to hold their space as fathers without apology. “Men need to know it’s okay to feel. It’s okay to change. It’s okay to grow.”
Dads Need a Village Too.
Camille stressed the importance of community support for fathers. While mom groups are commonplace, dads also need spaces to ask questions, share experiences, and talk about the trauma that can accompany childbirth.
“Men need ministry. Safe spaces. What they see on the other side of that sheet during birth changes them. They need support just like moms do.”
Supporting Military Dads: Letting Them Find Their Style.
Leesa, who leads the PAC for Children’s Trust, asked about a military family’s perspectives, emphasizing the importance of balance and flexibility. “When you’re deployed and then back in the nest,” she explained, “you have to let them develop their parenting style.”
Support means trusting them to find their rhythm as dads, even if it doesn’t look exactly like yours.
Redefining Fatherhood: Your Way, Not Theirs.
Shelina also reflected on her journey with a young partner who was figuring out fatherhood without a model to follow. “We had to learn together. He needed to parent his way, not his parents’ way.”
It was a learning process for her, especially as a teen mom who’d once leaned heavily on her own parents. “It felt like a breakup at first, but with every child, our mentality shifted. We grew into it.”
Paternity Leave Matters.
Tamell offered a powerful reminder: Don’t be afraid to take paternity leave. It was good for him and essential for the whole family.
“With each child, it got harder. The C-sections. The sleepless nights. But having him there? That was healing. That was love.” She shared how his decision to be present healed parts of her childhood, shaped by an absentee father. “It improved us.”
He bonded with the baby, supported her recovery, and showed their sons what fatherhood looks like. “Ignore the jokes from your friends. Take the time. Be there.”
You’ve got this.
This Father’s Day, let’s honor new dads not just with ties and cards, but with grace, support, and the permission to parent in their way. Whether making space for mistakes, acknowledging their emotional growth, or simply showing up, every effort matters.
To all the first-time dads: You’ve got this. And you’re not alone.
