If your house feels like a mix of excitement, nerves and pure chaos right now… you’re not alone. The start of a new school year can be a lot for our kids and for us. New teachers, new routines, new expenses… It’s enough to make even the steadiest parent feel overwhelmed.
As a Licensed Professional Counselor and a mom who’s actively in the midst of this transition as well, I want to take a minute to remind you: you’ve got this, and so do your kids.
But I also want to be real, our kids are carrying more than just backpacks into school buildings. A 2024 Pew Research Center survey found that 70% of high school teachers said anxiety and depression are major concerns among students, and 61% cited chronic absenteeism as a growing issue. These are not just numbers; they’re signs that the emotional climate in schools is shifting, and our parenting tools need to shift too.
So here’s your back-to-school pep talk, with practical strategies to help your kids and you transition smoothly.
1. Start with Real Conversations.
We’ve all asked, “How was your day?” and gotten nothing but a “fine,” “ ok,” and/or “good.” Even if that was not the case. Instead, try swapping in questions that invite more connection:
- “What was your favorite part of today?”
- “Who made you laugh the hardest?”
- “What’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for?”
These little shifts help our kids feel seen and safe to share what’s really going on. The goal is to deepen the conversation to be more than surface-level.
2. Help Them (and You) Manage the Stress.
The first few weeks back can bring on big feelings, anxiety, stomachaches, clinginess or even shutdowns. That’s normal, but it can be tough. Here are a few ways to support them through it:
- Create calm, predictable morning routines to reduce the rush.
- Prep the night before with lunches, clothes, etc.
- Teach simple grounding or breathing exercises.
- Carve out time at night for a quick emotional check-in, not just “Did you do your homework?”
According to a recent JED Foundation study, nearly 1 in 4 students report experiencing high levels of school-related stress, especially around transitions like the start of the year. When we understand what our kids are walking into, we’re better prepared to support them with empathy, ask better questions, and seek help sooner if something feels off.
3. Make the Transition Feel Like a Team Effort.
Transitions are less scary when kids feel included. Try these simple ideas:
- Let them help choose school supplies or plan outfits.
- If possible, visit the school building before day one to ease the unknown.
- Create an after-school routine that includes downtime, not just homework and chores.
- Ensure you are a space for your child to share without judgment, personal experience and/or negative repercussions.
The more agency we give them, the more confident they’ll feel. And remember that adjusting takes time and goes beyond surviving the first few weeks of school. It could take months before routine sets in, and feelings settle for you and your child(ren).
4. Stay Informed and Ready.
Most school districts in South Carolina have school boards that meet regularly to make important decisions impacting students, staff and families. These meetings are where policies are set, rules are updated and big changes are discussed—so staying connected matters.
Whenever possible, attend or review the notes from your district’s board meetings. Also, be sure you’re signed up for your school’s communication system, emails, apps or newsletters, so you’re always aware of updates, new expectations or resources that can help your family navigate the school year with confidence.
Talk with your kids early. Helping them understand the “why” behind new policies builds trust and prepares them to navigate the school day with less anxiety. Also, be sure to make space for any feelings your kids might have.
Parenting through the back-to-school season isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being present. It’s about showing up for your kids, even when your to-do list is long and your energy is low.
So take a deep breath. Give yourself (and your child) a little extra grace. And remember you’re doing a great job.
Ciera Young is a Licensed Professional Counselor who is passionate about normalizing mental health and creating conversations that go Beyond the White Couch. You can connect with her on Instagram at @beyondthewhitecouch.
